| Watashi wa bara no sadame ni umareta... ( @ 2009-06-24 21:42:00 |
| Current mood: | enraged |
| Entry tags: | meta |
Warnings!wank, and the post I didn't make about Racefail
If you don't know what I'm talking about, there's a general rundown here, or check out some of the recent posts on
metafandom. This is a bunch of stuff, and I don't even know how to organize this in a reasonable way, so I'll just throw everything under random numbers.
1) Squicks and triggers are not the same thing. Let me repeat that: squicks and triggers are not the same thing. I have plenty of squicks*. I do not have even a single trigger** that I am aware of. Most previous warnings discussions that I've seen have focused on squicks or dislikes. This one is not; it is focused on triggers.
2) Please consider banning the following people from your journal, based on statements reproduced here (many of which have since been deleted by their authors):
aukestrel,
cynatnite,
mara_snh. All of them have said further faily things in their own journals, btw, if you have the trainwreck syndrome to stand it. If you only ban one of those people, ban
aukestrel; I do not have words strong enough to condemn someone who tries to correct a survivor on her own abuse and her response to it.
3)
zvi has said a lot of really insensitive, offensive, and privileged things in this wank (see most of her recent journal entries, including/especially this post, or look here for the Greatest Hits compilation), but one thing in particular that stuck out to me was this post, specifically where she says that only
latxcvi and
the_willow can talk to her about it. I don't know anything about
latxcvi, but
the_willow has been very clear about the fact that she is someone who suffers from PTSD and has been triggered by fic.
And--and please tell me if I'm being privileged and appropriative here, I'm extrapolating from a situation where I'm not privileged to a situation where I am, and there are all kinds of pitfalls in that--I see that and I think about how I've felt during the various and sundry Racefails. I'm black; race isn't an area where I'm privileged. And I had (and still have) no interest whatsoever in trying to educate someone who's (possibly maliciously) ignorant, or trying to argue about whether or not I "should" be finding something hurtful and offensive, or, even worse, whether I'm actually being hurt or not. (Because it's bad faith for me to say that you did something racist, but not bad faith for you to assume that I'm lying when I say that I'm hurt or offended.)
If someone, even (perhaps, especially) someone I knew well, had come to me during the Racefails and been all "Hey,
jetamors, I don't want to listen to all these other people, you personally must hold my hand and explain to me why [offensively inconsiderate] thing is bad no matter how painful it is for you," I probably would've burst into tears. I can't even express how much that would have hurt. And to me that feels like what
zvi is saying to
the_willow. (I should make it clear that I'm not trying to speak for
the_willow or determine her reactions; she's perfectly capable of doing so herself. I'm saying that due to the potential for great hurt,
the_willow shouldn't be placed in that position in the first place.)
I keep going back to two Racefail posts that should be read in tandem, IMHO. The first is Yelling Class, which is (among other things) about people learning how much their privilege hurt the unprivileged when they were confronted with that hurt in a way they couldn't ignore. And after you've read that post, read this one. The author says it better than I can: I. should. not. have. to fucking. cry. in. front. of. you. before. it. clicks. with. you. that. I. hurt. when. I told. you. I. hurt.
If someone says "I'm triggered by non-con, please warn in some way so that I can protect myself," the correct response to that is not "Nah, I'm not convinced that I should warn, you'll have to persuade me." The correct response, if you're a decent human being, is "Sure, I don't want to hurt you," and then you find a way to do so, either by warning for it, or making warnings available for people who want them, or slapping a boilerplate "I don't warn" onto everything so people who might be triggered can avoid your fic. (Or of course if you don't like the word "warn", you can use another word, so long as the information is there.) People keep going "omg slippery slope", but until that actually happens, they need to put the strawman away.
It honestly disgusts me that
impertinence felt that she had to make a post like that in order to be taken seriously. It disgusts me more that even after reading that post, and being confronted with that kind of pain, there are still people who don't think there's anything wrong with causing it.
_________
* Defining squick as: something I find gross or unsettling and will immediately back-button out of a fic where it is present. This usually leads to me being grossed out or vaguely sad/unsettled for anywhere between a few minutes or a few days, but it does not interfere with my daily life or my mental health.
** Defining trigger as: something that can give me a reaction anything like this (Warning: Very explicit discussion of sexual assault and the nature, anatomy, cause & effect of triggers. Is itself triggery.)